What Is Therapy? How long will it take?

When people first get in touch to enquire about therapy, one of the most common questions I hear is: “How long will it take?”


It’s completely natural to want certainty and to know when you might feel better, when the anxiety might lessen, or when life might feel less heavy.

But the truth is that therapy isn’t a race with a finish line. Healing isn’t linear. And every single person who walks into the therapy room brings a completely unique story, history, personality and pace.

So rather than a set number of weeks or sessions, it’s more helpful to think about what therapy actually is, and what it is here to help you do.

Therapy is a space where you don’t have to be “fine”

Many of us learn early in life to keep our feelings hidden, to be the strong one, the calm one, the happy one, the one who holds everything together. Therapy offers a different kind of space. A space where:

• You can talk about the things you usually keep inside

• You don’t need to minimise your feelings or justify why you feel the way you do

• You won’t be judged, criticised, or told to “move on”

Being truly heard, sometimes for the first time, can be incredibly healing in itself.

Therapy helps make sense of the past to understand the present

Our behaviours, fears, beliefs and reactions rarely come from nowhere. They are shaped by many, many things including:

• Our upbringing

• What was modelled to us

• The roles we took in our family

• Our past relationships

• The stories we were told about ourselves

Sometimes events we believed we had “got over” still influence how we respond to stress, connection, conflict, and vulnerability today.

Therapy provides a safe foundation to explore those earlier experiences. It is important to remember that we do not have to relive them or to assign blame, but to understand how they shaped you, and to decide what still belongs in your life now, and what doesn’t.

Healing often happens when we can say:

“That made sense then… but I don’t need to live by those old rules anymore.”

Therapy supports emotional awareness and regulation

You might come to therapy because you feel too much. Maybe the anxiety spikes, the panic rises, emotions hit like a wave.
Or the opposite might be true. Maybe you feel disconnected, shut down, numb, or “cut off” from yourself.

In therapy, we slowly learn to:

• Name emotions accurately

• Understand what they are signalling

• Develop ways to respond, not react

• Build tolerance for uncomfortable feelings

• Learn self-compassion rather than self-criticism

Emotions aren’t problems to fix. They’re information. We just need to learn how to listen.

Therapy offers tools — but that’s not the heart of the work

Depending on your needs, therapy may include:

• Psychoeducation (understanding how the brain and nervous system work)

• Coping strategies for anxiety, sleep difficulties, or overwhelming stress

• Grounding techniques and breathwork

• Parts-work, guided imagery, or creative approaches

• Tools to interrupt unhelpful thinking patterns

• Skills for self-soothing and emotional regulation

These are valuable. They can give immediate relief and more control.

But the tools are not the goal. They are stepping stones.

What transforms people most deeply is being truly understood in a consistent, supportive relationship, one where you feel safe enough to explore the real you.

Therapy is not about perfection — it’s about acceptance

We live in a world that tells us we should be:

• Happier

• Thinner

• Calmer

• More confident

• More productive

• More successful

It’s exhausting.

Therapy is a place that gently challenges those pressures. A place where you can explore your own values, needs and identity, not the ones the world pushes on you.

As you learn to accept the messy, human parts of yourself, you begin to soften expectations and step into a kinder, more authentic way of living.

How long does it take to heal?

Some people feel a shift after a few sessions. Others take longer.

It depends on:

• What has brought you to therapy

• How long you’ve been carrying it

• How safe you feel opening up

• What you want to change

• Your personal circumstances and support network

Therapy is more like growing a garden than fixing a broken appliance. There are seasons of progress and seasons of rest. Sometimes deep change happens quietly beneath the surface.

You do not need to rush your healing.

Therapy is a relationship — and that’s where change happens

At its core, therapy is two humans sitting together in a room (or on a screen), exploring what it means to be you.

It’s a unique kind of relationship where:

• You are accepted as you are


• You can speak freely without worrying how it will land


• Your story is held with care and respect


• You are allowed to take up space


• You don’t have to face things alone

Over time, that relationship becomes a safe base from which new possibilities can emerge.

You may begin to feel:

• More connected to yourself and others

• More hopeful and grounded

• More confident in your own voice

• More able to feel your feelings without fear

• More empowered to shape your future

And those shifts ripple outward — into work, relationships, family, and how you speak to yourself.

Therapy is a journey of becoming

So, when someone asks:

“How long will therapy take?” The most honest answer is:

“As long as it takes for you to feel more yourself.”

There is no right or wrong pace. No deadline. No test to pass.

Therapy is about healing old wounds, learning new skills, and discovering the parts of you that have been waiting to be seen.

It’s about becoming the version of yourself who feels free to live, connect, rest, trust, love, and breathe more fully.

And the moment you take that first step into the therapy room?
 The healing has already begun.

If you’d like support from someone who will meet you with compassion, curiosity and real care, I’m here. I offer a safe, confidential space where we can explore what’s been weighing on you, at a pace that feels right for you. You don’t have to navigate things on your own. If you’re curious about starting therapy, or you’d simply like to ask a few questions, please feel free to get in touch. I’d love to hear from you. Kate